i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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