I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He better not be in your backpack
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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