I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
