is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
