You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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