I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
