I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
