I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize