Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
