This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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