So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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