Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
