no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
