Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
if only i could text you this smell
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Randomize
