Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
