after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
