Only a mothe r could love this liver
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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