Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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