when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
