I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
