when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
