When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
