bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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