I wish you could order shots online.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
