i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
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