mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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