belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
