There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
