physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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