Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
