Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i just made my gag reflex go away.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He has the fingertips of a God
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