Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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