That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
