i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
