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Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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