awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
