I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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