I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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