i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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