they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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