Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
