So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
