Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
