I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
