Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
