Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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