And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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