So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
