I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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