saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
