I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
