I feel great
I just peed on a car
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
