dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
